I was initially amused to see that there was a thread running through BBC Breakfast TV this morning concerning whether Lymington was snobby and elitist. And why? Because the planning application for a J D Wetherspoon pub had been rejected.

I say ‘initially’ amused as I have been astonished at the volume and tone of comment and debate generated by the item. Regrettably a lot has been ill-informed with people making good use of their pre-formed prejudices to come to their conclusions. So without further ado I will add my ill-informed prejudices to them.

I’m not sure the interview I saw with a member of the Lymington Society arguing that the character of the town would be ruined was possibly the best choice of argument against the pub. In a town with a number of national high street shops, restaurants and coffee shops already in residence, you might say that horse has already bolted to some degree. But here’s the thing, when the 99p shop opened in the old Woolies site they heeded concerns and changed their signage to suit the location. This shows a commendable sensitivity bearing in mind that whatever the shop fronts at ground level are like, a lot of the building frontage is still Georgian. That’s where the character is, so a pub may or may not effect that. But well done 99p stores, credit where it’s due.

I can’t say I had too many issues with Argos opening, which was similarly rejected, but there were a number of residents who did. Personally the M&S which opened instead is more useful more often as far as I am concerned, since you can order items online from the M&S website and pick them up from the Lymington M&S without incurring delivery charges. Not many people know that. Interestingly enough, the shop whose owner was a leading objector has now closed.

So anyways, back to J D Wetherspoon. Or not. My main concerns are based on the projected location which is next door to the Parish church and right across the road from an old people’s home. Now let’s imagine for one moment that the fact they sell cheaper alcohol than many pubs won’t create an atmosphere where the good burgers of Lymington and its environs drink a tad more than they should. I said imagine, I didn’t say it was likely to be the reality. With the best will in the world, the volume level tends to go up when drink is consumed as social mores become less adhesive. If you are old and your room is on the street side and you can hear well without electronic aid your quality of life may well dip. Or at least your quality of rest. Now I’m not an advocate for churches having any special status per se, but the church is in a churchyard. The churchyard has paths through it linking easily to a number of different residential locations. I’m sure that didn’t occur to the J D Wetherspoon bods. But that means it will effect a large area of Lymington, not just the main shopping street. That may or may not be a bad thing, I’m not sure, but it does go to show that the situation is more complex than simple nimbyism.

However it will definitely effect the existing pubs in the town. From memory there are probably six within a quarter mile radius of the proposed site. You could therefore argue that perhaps Lymington doesn’t need another one. You could equally argue that perhaps J D Wetherspoon should buy one of the existing pubs. There are alternative sites, there is an old Social Club site which has been vacant since purchase by developers, however it is close to two other pubs.

Considering the prices charged for beer in Lymington pubs, I wouldn’t personally object to being able to buy some for less. What I don’t like the idea of is what may come with it. And yes it is only a ‘may’ but if whether a town is snooty is decided on whether it looks at the TV reports of anti-social drink-fuelled behave and says ‘you know on balance we’d rather not risk it’, then maybe Lymington is snooty. Maybe however, it realises that it’s character is the only thing that keeps visitors coming back and commercially keeps the town afloat, and has decided that resisting efforts to shoot itself in the foot may well be the best policy. J D Wetherspoon being turned down may be nothing more than a ricochet in all this, but who’s to say? It doesn’t take many reports of rowdyism to ruin a reputation and snooty or otherwise, reputation is important to a place people come to for a quieter holiday.

Don’t get me wrong, I love technology but I haven’t yet descended into the dark depths of the complete gadget freak. However if something is electrically driven, has buttons, is made of polished metal, or preferably all three, then in my book it’s worth checking out. I am a techno-realist though and do realise that sometimes technology obscures the blindingly obvious because of the erroneous belief that computers can’t make mistakes.

OK, technically it’s the programmer that makes the mistake and having that particular skill in my portfolio, I would be the first to admit that programmers aren’t perfect. Particularly at around ten minutes to quitting time on a Friday when a fudge that will work 99% of the time would get you out of there in time for the weekend. Not something I’d do of course, I’m just giving it as an example. It used to be said that a particularly badly manufactured item was a ‘Friday Afternoon Special’. So it would seem that since our economy, such as it is, has moved resolutely into smoke and mirrors, otherwise known as the services sector, the Friday Afternoon Special is still alive and well. Albeit contained in electrons in circuits rather than something parked outside your house.

Today I came across two examples of computers adding to effort rather than easing our lives. First example was at Waitrose in Lymington. To be sure a fine shopping experience normally, but today we made the mistake of buying some reticent black seedless grapes. To be honest they hadn’t seemed particularly chatty when we weighed them and in truth had been a little sullen as we walked around the store. What we were not expecting  was that their general demeanour was a danger to us. The checkout lady passed them by the scanner and was rewarded with a frankly startling message somewhere along the lines of “Danger – do not sell. This item is withdrawn”. Now as I say, we hadn’t engaged much in the way of conversation with these grapes, but calling them ‘withdrawn’ seemed a bit rich, and why was that a danger to us? Were they inclined towards manic depression and given to huge mood swings? As it transpired, it was a ‘computer’ error and the supervisor cleared the error and went off muttering about having to tell someone. So good grapes had been maligned for no reason other than what we techies call a ‘human interface error’.

Second problemette was a perennial hole in the wall issue. I had inserted my cash card into two different ATM’s to be told in no uncertain terms that I wasn’t going to get anything from there matey and would I move along if you please. First one was at a 24 hour convenience store so wasn’t too worried. Second ATM was the issuing bank, so that was a tad more worrying. Fortunately the bank in question, name witheld to protect the stupid, had a 24 hour local rate helpline. No idea where it was in the world although I could make a decent guess based on accent, but after checking (very thoroughly) I was who I was purporting to be, the customer relations agent admitted to being perplexed. He then checked with another department and came back and asked me the last four digits of the card I was using. To cut a boring story short, the current card had been cancelled in favour of a new card even though it had not yet expired. Apparently this was going to happen 28 days after the new card was issued. Pity they didn’t tell me. I know they didn’t because I just read the bumpf I got with the new card. So human interface error or Friday Afternoon programming, you choose.

So the dust begins to settle on another festive season and it seems the only decision to make is when do the decorations come down. Well maybe not the only decision. Since late December the January sales have been in full swing in Lymington and visiting friends have already benefited with up to an amazing fifty per cent off!

For the purposes of clarity I would like to make clear that the last was a verbatim quote, not my opinion. Frankly I don’t get so excited about buying things I didn’t know I needed until I realise I can get them half price. Furthermore I have to say that our friends are obviously not the sort of people who do buy just because they see a reduction sticker so I couldn’t be referring to them now could I? Really good friends are not so easy to find so I’m not about to risk any unintentional insult, it’s easy enough to do that with an ill-considered ‘amusing’ email as it is! No, there’s no story there, I have a friend who has done it. Really.

Anyway, and regardless of all that, there is still a strange draw to arm oneself with an already battered credit card and sally forth into the shops with big red percentages plastered over their windows in case there really is something you would be gutted to find you missed out on. What is that about? Over the Christmas period we have had visits from family and friends who have been to some of the poorest parts of Africa and the Indian subcontinent and seen pictures and heard descriptions of what it was like for the poorest of the poor. I’m not sure what a January sale would consist of in the interior of Liberia, but I’m guessing it wouldn’t draw queues of people waiting to get designer handbags at half price.

By all means buy a bargain, shop ’till you drop and enjoy it, but why not match your spending pound for pound by giving a gift to those for whom January just means they have survived another year. Try Living Gifts or a charity of your own choice and start the year as you mean to go on. A very prosperous New Year to you and your own.