The continuing story of leaks, sunrooms and conservatory companies may well be reaching it’s apocalyptic climax within the next month or so. Admittedly that introduction may have been a tad tabloid in tone, but my euphoria cannot be readily contained.

After the first quote, we attempted to get another. Two likely lads fetched up and amid considerable pursing of lips suggested various ways we could proceed. Reading between the lines I came to the conclusion that what in fact they wanted to do was to make what is currently presentable into something rather less so. Fortunately they were not only highly creative in their own way, they appear to also be very forgetful as no quote has materialised. At least I don’t have to let them down easy.

Next up was a conservatory company who sent a somewhat brusque fellow who on inspection of the job in hand immediately informed me they only do complete conservatories, apologised and left. This despite Wife clearly explaining to message taker at company office that all we required was a roof. So as we are want to say with much rolling of eyes, no danger to any breweries in the immediate location of that company.

Finally we were recommended another company who turned up when they said they would, rapidly sent a surveyor ’round, and explained why they would have to replace the soffits and fascias before installing a state of the art clip together aluminium frame conservatory roof. In truth I was more interested in what would happen at the margins where the polycarbonate conservatory roof meets the tiles. It was after all the reason for requesting their presence. Turns out they lay felt and lead so that the water runs into the previously welded integral box gutters. Now you might think it sad, but the idea of guttering with no push-fit or clipped corners which could distort and leak, quite made my day.

As with all silver linings, there was a cloud hovering. The cost. Highest to date, well highest of the two we actually received, although after a phonecall we did agree to split the difference between what we had hoped it would cost and what they hoped we would pay. But when you are impressed by the way a company acts, you are inclined to take a punt on them. I was, we will, so in four weeks or so, weather permitting, we will have a 32mm polycarbonate conservatory roof which should allow us to finally add the additional (low energy) lighting to that end of the sunroom. Just in time for winter.

I once heard someone say that there are two certain things in life, death and taxis. Personally I’ve never found it that easy to get a cab when I needed one but what the hey. I have to assume they meant death and taxes which makes much more sense, so may I be so bold as to add a third? Death, taxes and water in the sunroom.

Following another summer which makes you wonder where exactly the globe is getting warmed because it’s definitely not here, we were sitting in the sunroom with friends enjoying the sun actually coming out and warming us when a half cupful of water dropped onto the lunch table. Well I say table, actually it scored a direct hit on the fruit salad bowl.

After the builder guy washed his hands of the leak (an appropriate if barely amusing phraseology),  I had been forced to raise part of the conservatory-like roof to prevent pooling. All had gone well until after a rain shower the sun had come out, and whilst it undoubtedly dried up all the rain elsewhere, it seemed to open a door from another (wet) dimension into the sunroom. It was either curious or galling. Depends on whether it was your fruit salad.

So enough of the patching, let’s get an expert in we thought. Do you have any idea how many conservatory roof companies there are in Yellow Pages? Actually quite a few and no idea of where to start. Wife had seen an advert on the front of a house advertising someone who did conservatories, roofs, soffits and fascias, which just about covered all our potential points of failure, so we called them. Nice Scottish chap came round and offered us the opinion that it would be best to start again so far as the plastic roof is concerned and put a proper 25mm multiple skin polycarbonate conservatory roof which happily he could supply. Regrettably he has a business to run and so there was a fair amount of remuneration involved. So we are looking getting another quote which will give us some idea as to whether he had given us a frank and fair assessment of what was required.

Of course once that’s sorted, we will be loathe to vacate the room during the dark days of winter, so I have to look into a form of heating that won’t bring the bailiffs in on receipt of the first bill. Even with a five layer, 25mm polycarbonate roof, I’m guessing an open fire wouldn’t be the best option.