So what do you do aprés shopping? Well drink tea of course. Off up to the top floor of John Lewis where they have a food court with big windows looking out over the docks. Talk about good timing, just as we arrived the Queen Victoria slipped moorings and headed out on her maiden voyage. Being as how they had organised a quayside ceremony for a very large number of dignitaries earlier, Cunard obviously couldn’t let this auspicious occasion go without a rather noticeable firework display. At times it was hard to see quite where the fireworks were coming from, but so far as we could figure out there were quayside and shipborne both going off at the same time. Probably increased the ships carbon footprint what with all the smoke and all, but do ships have a footprint? Ignoring obvious jokes about the plimsoll line, the concept of a carbon hull print is a little harder to comprehend. It was pretty jolly good though. The celebration flapjack I had wasn’t bad either. OK, I admit, it wasn’t due to celebration, it was down a lack of self-control bought on by the euphoria of finding I had dropped a jeans size. Apparently swimming really is good for you, once the ear infection goes.

Whilst I was shopping I came across a great example of possible cause and effect. In JJB Sports they lock the changing rooms so you can’t use them without the assistance of an assistant. Well I call them assistants but to be honest it’s more of a title than a description. So anyway, you go to find an assistant and there follows a discussion amongst them as to who is going to unlock the changing rooms, and who then is going to cover the front door whilst the one who was covering the front door goes to unlock the changing rooms. I stood with my best do-you-not-realise-I’m-still-standing-here expression, but it didn’t speed things up any. Now I had assumed that the covering of the front door was keeping an eye open to stop their stock walking out, even with the massive plastic dongle designed to prevent that which is attached to all items. On reflection, and considering their general disability to be of any help in making a purchase at all, maybe it’s to stop potential customers getting in. Saves having to unlock the changing rooms after all.