Wife and I go regularly to swim at a local leisure club here in Lymington as, being low impact, it’s the only exercise she can do without causing an FM (Fibromyalgia) flare-up. During the winter months we get used to having loads of room to swim without many other swimmers. The only time it gets kinda busy is when our visit coincides with a school holiday or worse as today, the first day in a long Easter weekend and a school holiday.

Don’t know if you’ve ever seen or been to concerts where the performer ‘body surfs’ on the audience. Doesn’t tend to happen at classical concerts I have to admit, more likely at a popular beat  combo concert. Of course if you have been to a Bournemouth Symphony Orchestra concert and seen the conductor throw themselves off the stage to be passed above head height by the audience, I stand corrected. But I am reasonably confident that has never happened. Reading or the Isle of Wight festivals maybe but the biggest surprise you might get at a BSO concert are the fireworks at the end. And they tend to be set off only at outdoor concerts.

Anyway my point in mentioning that is that at certain points in my attempt to do my compulsory lengths, it started to look like body surfing might be my best option. Now for those of you who take your leisure seriously enough to spend leisure time trying to keep fit, you may not believe that there are some who like to enjoy splashing around in a pool rather than pounding up and down. No really. And what they tend to do is lose sight of the obvious point that if they swim in front of you, or worse still surface immediately in front of you, an accident may well occur. No disk brakes on swimmers.

Interestingly enough, the laws of physics are not suspended in swimming pools. So if you throw a ball and the recipient does not catch it, it will continue on it’s trajectory until it hits something. Or someone. Unfortunately sharp implements which might accidentally cause a puncture in said ball are expressly prohibited. Reasonable I suppose, harpoon guns are like balls in that if they miss the intended target, they’ll hit something. And they do give a bit more than just a bruise.

I would like to say that no parents who should have kept better control of their progeny were harmed in the process of completing my lengths, but I’m not entirely sure that is correct. Either way, the lighting is subdued in the sauna, so they may not be found for a while…