Don’t get me wrong, I love technology but I haven’t yet descended into the dark depths of the complete gadget freak. However if something is electrically driven, has buttons, is made of polished metal, or preferably all three, then in my book it’s worth checking out. I am a techno-realist though and do realise that sometimes technology obscures the blindingly obvious because of the erroneous belief that computers can’t make mistakes.

OK, technically it’s the programmer that makes the mistake and having that particular skill in my portfolio, I would be the first to admit that programmers aren’t perfect. Particularly at around ten minutes to quitting time on a Friday when a fudge that will work 99% of the time would get you out of there in time for the weekend. Not something I’d do of course, I’m just giving it as an example. It used to be said that a particularly badly manufactured item was a ‘Friday Afternoon Special’. So it would seem that since our economy, such as it is, has moved resolutely into smoke and mirrors, otherwise known as the services sector, the Friday Afternoon Special is still alive and well. Albeit contained in electrons in circuits rather than something parked outside your house.

Today I came across two examples of computers adding to effort rather than easing our lives. First example was at Waitrose in Lymington. To be sure a fine shopping experience normally, but today we made the mistake of buying some reticent black seedless grapes. To be honest they hadn’t seemed particularly chatty when we weighed them and in truth had been a little sullen as we walked around the store. What we were not expecting  was that their general demeanour was a danger to us. The checkout lady passed them by the scanner and was rewarded with a frankly startling message somewhere along the lines of “Danger – do not sell. This item is withdrawn”. Now as I say, we hadn’t engaged much in the way of conversation with these grapes, but calling them ‘withdrawn’ seemed a bit rich, and why was that a danger to us? Were they inclined towards manic depression and given to huge mood swings? As it transpired, it was a ‘computer’ error and the supervisor cleared the error and went off muttering about having to tell someone. So good grapes had been maligned for no reason other than what we techies call a ‘human interface error’.

Second problemette was a perennial hole in the wall issue. I had inserted my cash card into two different ATM’s to be told in no uncertain terms that I wasn’t going to get anything from there matey and would I move along if you please. First one was at a 24 hour convenience store so wasn’t too worried. Second ATM was the issuing bank, so that was a tad more worrying. Fortunately the bank in question, name witheld to protect the stupid, had a 24 hour local rate helpline. No idea where it was in the world although I could make a decent guess based on accent, but after checking (very thoroughly) I was who I was purporting to be, the customer relations agent admitted to being perplexed. He then checked with another department and came back and asked me the last four digits of the card I was using. To cut a boring story short, the current card had been cancelled in favour of a new card even though it had not yet expired. Apparently this was going to happen 28 days after the new card was issued. Pity they didn’t tell me. I know they didn’t because I just read the bumpf I got with the new card. So human interface error or Friday Afternoon programming, you choose.